Pleasurable
by Ai Chiyo
Summary: In a world of pain pleasure can be just the same as pain. Pain becomes pleasurable because it's the only thing attainable and known. And it seems to be just that way for our favorite family of Uchihas. Rated M for incest, yaoi, abuse, and others.
1. The Price Of Frame

_Pleasurable_

_The Price Of Fame…_

Summary; In a world of pain pleasure can be just the same as pain. Pain becomes pleasurable because it's the only thing attainable and known. And it seems to be just that way for our favorite family of Uchihas.

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_Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own the yaoi filled potential that is Naruto, but if I did it'd be very scarring for young children and probably most adults. But I don't so children can watch it. They just can't read this._

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A top a hill is a mansion famous in the city of Konohagakure. Not for anything particularly good. Generally it's a place known for grief and sadness, but aren't all of the best places?

Ignore the sad attempt at a pun. For I just wished you to have a smile upon your face before you entered the world that the Uchiha's live in.

It's a dreary world. Darkness is the choice. Ignorance bliss. But intelligence required. Admired. Many have said that a storm is always brewing inside of its walls. Violence is key in this family. Voices raised. Fists clenched. Words poised to strike with venom like a viper. Malice and hatred streaking through thoughts. It's a loveless world for these four.

Fugaku, the drunken abuser; Mikoto, the weakened and manipulated wife; Itachi, the first born and passive son; and finally, Sasuke, the rebellious and confrontational son.

Three pitted against one. Fugaku. That man. He used to be so good. A highly regarded police officer. Loving husband and father with the best track record. A model citizen. Until the recession hit and he was cut from the force. He'd been on the chopping block from the moment he started. His attitude frowned upon by the mayor and the police chief. He took up drinking. And somehow found a way to fault his wife and children for the loss of his dream. His dream of a picture perfect family. A picture perfect family stained by a decision made by Fugaku. This decision would haunt the man to his last drunken breath.

A top a hill is a mansion famous in the city of Konohagakure. Famous for its hostile aura and even more so for its brooding brothers, but a thousand times that for the scandals trapped in the thick stone walls. The price they pay for fame is high. Higher than first anticipated…


	2. Shattered Hopes & Dreams

_Pleasurable_

_Shattered Hopes & Dreams…_

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_Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own the yaoi filled potential that is Naruto, but if I did it'd be very scarring for young children and probably most adults. But I don't so children can watch it. They just can't read this._

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I lay in bed calmly and quietly; my breathing soft and feather light. He's not here. Certainly he's at the bar. I glanced at the unnaturally green numbers on the digital clock.

One o' four.

Exactly fifty-six minutes before he'd come stumbling home and wake me up for sex that he wouldn't get and exactly an hour from when he'd decide to go find a five-cent whore to satisfy his needs in a ratty motel on the outskirts of town. Exactly a hour and twenty minutes before I'd break down crying into his old pillow which still faintly smelled like the man I fell in love with.

I long for that man. The one who loved bringing justice to the town in which our ancestors settled. The one who'd come home at a decent hour from a decent job to a lovely family dinner. The one who her two babies would be so excited to talk about their day that they stumbled over vowels and consonants. The man who loved her and their children. I cling to the hope that he's still there. Underneath all of the alcohol and perfume of other women. Underneath the funk he's acquired. Underneath the looks of disgust and hate he gives us. Underneath it all he has to be there. He just has to be…..

Exactly fifty-six minutes later he came stumbling into their room alcohol strong on his breath. Exactly fifty-six minutes later and I still lay in bed calmly and quietly with my breathing soft and feather light and my face serene from being graced with a dream. Exactly a minute later my serene dream would be shattered and so would all of my hope...


	3. Scandalous Payments

_Pleasurable_

_Scandalous Payments…_

_Warnings; Violence & Adult Situations_

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**A/N: I do realize these have been short, but I believe this one will be quite longer. There will also be some very bad things in here. So if you don't like sad things or anything on a forceful level sexually I'd suggest skipping. Also I'd like you all to know that the point of views will most likely change between the four (Sasuke, Itachi, Fugaku, & Mikoto) and the third person. And one more thing:**

"_Thoughts."_

"Speech."

_Flashbacks._

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_Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own the yaoi filled potential that is Naruto, but if I did it'd be very scarring for young children and probably most adults. But I don't so children can watch it. They just can't read this._

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A loud smack echoed through the spacious modern bedroom. Mikoto had gotten her degree in interior designs, but gave up her dream of designing to be a stay at home mom like Fugaku had wanted. Her only request was to design their mansion. A request her husband begrudgingly agreed to. For many that would've been the first sign that he'd turn on her, but Mikoto believed strongly in Fugaku. Something she was about to pay for as she jolted up and awake from her serene state of sleep.

"Did I wake you Honey?" Fugaku sneered his alcohol stained breath fanning over Mikoto's soft porcelain skin.

"F-Fugaku?" She stuttered fearfully. She knew he was drunk. So drunk he made sense and it scared her. He reached out to touch her cheek and she flinched away. Flames ignited in his dark orbs. And a crack turned to a valley in his heart.

"_She won't even let me touch her anymore! This is fucking outrageous she's my wife! I should be able to touch her wherever, whenever, and with whomever I choose!" _He cried out in his head. A sly smile came onto his drunken face. If she wouldn't let him have her willingly then he'd take her forcefully.

He turned suddenly and Mikoto let out the breath she had been holding for what seemed like forever. She watched him her onyx eyes watching him fearfully as he went to the closet. He squatted his grimy jeans lowering and his filthy shirt rising as her disgust sky-rocketed.

"_I don't even know this man anymore. It's like living with a stranger."_ She thought sighing quietly. He rose and turned a vaguely familiar bag in his hands and a hideous smirk on his face.

"_Th-that smirk…" _A deeply scarring memory washed over her.

_Fugaku Uchiha tugged his blindfolded wife along anxiously wanting to start the honeymoon he planned. Anxiety swirled in both of their stomachs. Hers because of the surprise and his because of the way she might react especially because of what he wanted from her. He knew she might not possibly be ready, but did he care?_

_Hell no. Never. It's always about Fugaku. From the moment they started courting. His looks, his likes, his hobbies, his everything. It was and still is always about him. And he of course always gets what he wants. And so he'll get it this time as well._

_Mikoto's sensitive ears heard the faint click of a door knob opening and her heels clacked on rough, un-sanded wood. A beautiful smile came to her lips._

"_He remembered!" She shouted in her head._

"_He remembered that I wanted our honeymoon to be in a rustic cabin! Oh how I love this man!" She screamed in her head a giddy smile on her face._

_Fugaku took notice of this and a sly smile came onto his own face._

"_Baby you trust me right?" He whispered into her ear his breath seductively fanning over here ear. She shivered pliable putty in his despicable hands._

"_O-Of course!" She managed quietly._

"_Then just relax and trust me. You know I love you, Babe." A twinkle in his eye and an idea long ago formed in his head was now about to come true. He had waited until after the vows and now he could do as he pleased._

_He let his hand slide down to her own and clasped it reassuringly onto her own their fingers interweaved. Warmth spread through both of their stomachs. He led her over to the bed and sat her down. Her Ferrari red skirt riding up her beautifully pale skin and her coal colored shirt bunching up higher as he lifted her platform clad feet up gently and discarded each shoe sensually. His fingertips tickling their way up her long expanse of legs and wrapping their way around her ass and gripping their way around to her zipper releasing her waist and hips from the expensive skirt on loan from one of Mikoto's many friends. He popped the black thong that wrapped around both of her virgin entrances. He planned on changing that wither she liked it or not. And she didn't like one bit of it._

The pure horror on her face made Fugaku smirk.

"Oh honey…" Her eyes snapped to him.

"No…. Please…. No. Fugaku. The children are here."

"I don't care. Mikoto. I'm having you one way or another. The easy way or the hard way, but I will." She glared at him.

"What the hell Fugaku? Wha-" Another load smack reverberated off of the walls.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH! GET THE FUCK UNDRESSED NOW! BEFORE I BEAT YOUR UGLY, OLD ASS INTO THE GROUND AND LET YOU DIE LIKE YOU DESERVE TOO!" Tears welled up as she slid out of bed her feet thumping the floor softly. She swallowed the bile that seemed to eternally build up in her delicious mouth whenever Fugaku did such things to her.

"Fu-Fugaku…?" His nose crinkled in displeasure.

"I didn't ask for a striptease you insolent whore. Get undressed now. And never stutter my name unless you're underneath me and I'm sheathed in you." A single tear fell as she began to slip out of her silky nightwear. Stopping at her thong and bra. Fugaku smirked.

"Good girl. Now get on the bed in the position." A few more fell as she nodded and stripped the bed of all of the covers leaving just the fitted sheet and a large comforter bunched up at the footrest. She then crawled onto the bed and laid flat on her back, her legs spread and her arms above her head.

Fugaku bent down to the bag in which he dropped earlier. He pulled out a thick abrasive rope and two more of the same kind just a longer length. He rose; his shadow appearing in the bright moonlight floating from a window in the roof. The moon was in full bloom casting an odd light over the whole situation. It was so romantic and beautiful, yet this repetitive scene was so disgusting and _wrong_.

He finished knotting the rope to the headboard securing her wrists above her head. Her ankles already secured.

The one thing in the bedroom that stood out was the bed. An ancient four post cherry wood bed. The only thing that Fugaku insisted on. The one thing that Mikoto hated with a passion in the beginning because of the tackiness, but now? Because it was an instrument of torture for her. The posts acting as anchors for her limbs. Her hate had slowly been growing since that night in the shack far up in the mountain tops. Now he didn't even have the _decency_ to wait until the children were gone.

Her precious babies. They'd surely hear Fugaku. He was always _so_ loud. They knew _vaguely_ of the things that went on seeing as both of their parent's would disappear for a full weekend. Mikoto would come back pale, skinny, and bruised unable to walk and so tired. Fugaku would be glowing and happy and not bother the children as they attended to their "useless" mother.

She scoffed aloud. Fugaku glared.

"Do you have something to say slut?" He spat.

"In fact, I do you dirty bastard." Flames grew to fires in those plain black eyes. Hatred swirled in the onyx orbs framed by thick lashes and plump preciously pink lips poised to strike with venom.

"I have so much to say, but you aren't worth the breath. You're a waste of space. A despicable excuse of a human being. You're a sexist and traditionalist bastard. I hate you. I can finally tell you that. I know you're going to "put me in my place" when I'm finished, but for once Fugaku." She paused smirking aware of the look of pure horror on his face and she knew precisely why.

"Are you surprised? I came from the same clan y'know. Not all of us lost what we used to have. Unlike you I still contain some of that ancient power that everyone claims is a myth. Our sons do too. I can feel it. But you? You of course didn't. And I'm glad you didn't. You don't deserve it. Hell you don't deserve the breaths you're taking right now." Her skin tingled with the extra warmth. She stood her bare feet on the cold wooden floor. She had just burnt off the abrasive roping that tied her to the tacky bed. Her delicate hand heated to an unbearable temperature before smacking the hell out of Fugaku.

"As I was saying Fugaku. I don't give a shit anymore. I don't really think you do either. It was your choice to start this cycle. You're the one who had sex with her. You destroyed not only our relationship, which was deteriorating as it was, but theirs. You have no conscience. And you don't deserve our sons in there. They work so hard to please your worthless ass and they get nothing, but beatings and brutal words in return. They aren't perfect nor do they have to be. Picture perfect went down the drain when you lost your job and decided somehow it was okay to take it out on us. It will never be okay. And I want you to know. I hope you die. You don't deserve to be named after such a good man in our history. Nor will you ever."

Fugaku picked himself up off of the hard floor. Fires burning in his eyes and hate blackening his heart. His large tan hand slapped her face with an unnatural smack that sent her down to the ground whimpering in pain. He was fully aware of how much that would hurt, but she deserved it. The bitch really did. She needed to learn her place.

His foot rose up and lashed into her stomach sending her straight into the wall with a several loud cracks ringing out in the room. He slowly stalked over to her like a lion to its prey. He yanked her up by her left arm dislocating the shoulder in the process.

She let out a broken whimper cut off by a right hook to her jaw. Her ribs ached and her mouth tasted of metallic blood. She knew the bruises would be terrible on her moonlight skin, but Fugaku didn't care he never did.

He didn't as he slammed her up against the wall biting her neck harshly drawing blood purposefully. Nor as he tossed her across the room and onto the bed her head cracking harshly and blood spilling from the wound.

"_Bitch got to pay. Got to…" _Fugaku thought viciously. He stalked towards her, but in just a moment. His plan would be foiled. And he would become the one paying.

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**A/N: I realize that this has been centered mainly around Mikoto and Fugaku, but I promise you, it won't be for long. This chapter took a while to write, but it was worth it. Please continue reading and reviewing. I really love it when you do.**


	4. Breaking The First Rule

_Pleasurable_

_Breaking The First Rule…_

_Warnings; Violence & Character Death_

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_Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own the yaoi filled potential that is Naruto, but if I did it'd be very scarring for young children and probably most adults. But I don't so children can watch it. They just can't read this._

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In the Uchiha Mansion you know your place and if you step out of line Fugaku would put you back in it. Be it verbally or physically. You don't disobey the man of the house. That's rule number one. The first rule that Sasuke broke. And the rule that he would break tonight.

Sasuke found himself unable to sleep. Insomnia's a bitch, but then again it could be the stress. And since in this family you are perpetually stressed, he hardly ever got any sleep, though that never showed. He slid out of bed after a while and padded stealthily out of his room and down the hallway to go see Itachi despite outward appearances and the act he put on in front of his parents and conscious brother, he loved them very much.

A horrid crack stopped all thoughts and movements from coming out of the youngest Uchiha, but only for a moment of course. He shook slightly.

"Mommy…" He whispered quietly before charging straight down the hall and busting down the door to his parents room.

Fugaku stopped and spun on his heel to face his son. He glowered at him.

"What the hell do you want you idiotic fag?" Sasuke overlooked his father for a moment searching the room for his mother before his onyx orbs landed on a figure he instantaneously knew was his mother. He saw the blood and forming bruises.

"You bastard!" He roared. Rage threatening to take over.

"What Sasuke? She needed to be put in her place."

"Put in her place? You're a fucking moron. She has rights too. You may not give a shit about that, but I'm not gonna take this lying down. I refuse to have to nurse her back to health again and again just because you think she needs to be put back in her place. I think you need to be put in your place and since Itachi is too much of a damn pansy to protect Mom like she deserves I will."

Fugaku opened his mouth, but it was clipped shut with a loud clank by a hard upper cut. Sasuke swiped his father's legs out from under him. He grabbed a lamp and smashed it over his head thus knocking him unconscious before rushing over to the nightstand, opening the drawer, grabbing the hand gun, cocking it, pulling the trigger and then repeating it once more. While the smoke was clearing from both the gun and his own mind a gasp was heard behind the teenager.

The raven turned slowly and saw his older brother of whom he'd just spoken badly of, but he didn't see much else as he blacked out falling into a pool of his father's blood.


	5. Loving Gestures

_Pleasurable_

_Loving Gestures…_

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**A/N: This one is a bit longer and more relaxed. No violence. More fluff. Enjoy it.**

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_Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own the yaoi filled potential that is Naruto, but if I did it'd be very scarring for young children and probably most adults. But I don't so children can watch it. They just can't read this._

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The rest of the night was all a blur for the eldest Uchiha brother with the youngest being taken in for exhaustion and a mental examination, his mother being in the ICU, and his father being pronounced dead upon paramedics arriving. Yes, you could say he was stressed. Very stressed. And all of the news stations trying to get an interview and information on what happened wasn't very helpful especially since he didn't know what happened. Only Mikoto, Sasuke, and Fugaku knew what happened. With all of them unavailable for one reason or another, the reporters wouldn't stop swarming the poor boy. He hadn't gotten a moments rest since he stepped into the damaged doorway.

He paced just to stay awake. He couldn't care less about his father, but his mother and his otouto; they meant the world to him. Nothing could compare. He loved them more than life itself. And even that was an understatement. It hurt him more than anything to know that his father, that man, had hurt them all so much. All because of his choices. It was all his fault. The bastard didn't care about them just his image. Of course that didn't surprise him. You could just tell. At heart everyone knew he was a heartless, self-absorbed bastard.

"Sir?" Itachi abruptly stopped pacing and turned to the small pink haired nurse.

"Yes?" She smiled.

"I'm Nurse Haruno." He cocked his head.

"Are you like…Sakura's mom?" She nodded politely.

"Yes, I am. Now. Mr. Uchiha would you like to see your brother? He's just woken up. Naturally he's a little disorientated and confused. You still can't see your mother seeing as she's in the ICU." The woman kindly laid her hand on hic shoulder upon seeing him flinch. He shied away from her.

"I'd like to see my brother please…" He stated quietly. She nodded.

"Right this way sir." She led him through a set of doors and a little ways down the hall before turning left and stopping at a door marked with the number of one sixty-nine.

"Here you are." She patted his back once before disappearing down the hall and out of sight. He took a deep breath before slowly pushing the heavy door open and almost gagging on the scent of disinfectant.

"Aniki?" Itachi's heart skipped a beat at the beautiful word. As simple as it is, he claimed him. And didn't blow him off for once.

"Yes Sasuke?" He answered warmly walking in and letting the door shut softly behind him. He didn't move any closer. He remembered how his brother was. You didn't just walk up to him and engage him, he was the engager and you only stood or waited until he waved you over.

"Aniki come here…" He walked over slowly and stood beside the bed.

Sasuke took in a sharp breath struck by the pure beauty of his brother. His hair sprawled down his back gracefully blacker than midnight. His dress shirt buttoned up uneven and off-center more of his moonlight chest showing than deemed acceptable. A pair of worn and hole-ridden steel gray skinny slung low on his hips. His oldest and most broken in pair of Vans on his feet. He drew all over the soles of those Vans. A plethora of mini-dinosaurs and birds with a couple of trees thrown in the mix. He even wrote their names in a fancy script his mother had him learn. Yes, Sasuke loved those Vans. He loved his brother. He suddenly looked up into his brother's onyx eyes, a perfect mirror of his own, except for a flicker of fear in his aniki's eyes.

"Aniki… I love you… Sit down… You look so tense…" His brother smiled at that.

"_He's worried about me…" _A rare smile graced the tired features of Itachi's face.

"Aniki i-if you want you can lay up here with me…" The elder's heart fluttered a bit.

"I don't want to make you uncomf—"

"There's enough room… Please Aniki?" He began to tear up. Itachi noticed this and sighed.

"Oh… Sasuke… Okay." He smiled softly at his older brother who crawled into bed and let him cuddle into him. They both felt so much more relaxed with their father…disposed of. So relaxed that Itachi began to play with his otouto's hair. Not ten minutes later the younger was asleep. The older closed his eyes, but not before he saw a certain pink haired nurse shut off the lights…


	6. In Special Cases

_Pleasurable_

_In Special Cases…_

_Warnings; Character Death & Slight Angst_

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**A/N: Be aware of the asterisks. For they shall mark things in my closing authoress' note. Enjoy!**

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_Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own the yaoi filled potential that is Naruto, but if I did it'd be very scarring for young children and probably most adults. But I don't so children can watch it. They just can't read this._

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I padded down the hallway of my hospital. I am the special cases head nurse. I have three girls under me. Hinata's mother, Hinshu*; Tenten's mother, Kei*; And lastly an intern whom will be leaving soon.

"HANA!*" I turned furiously on my heel.

"Shut up! Don't yell!"

"But you just did." Kei stuck her tongue out at me playfully. I sighed.

"What was oh-so-important Kei?" Her face instantly fell.

"Right… Mikoto Uchiha she…"

"She what Kei?" I asked impatiently motioning for her to follow me.

"She… We lost her." I stopped abruptly.

"S-She's dead?"

"I'm so sorry Hana." I swallowed the sob that threatened to overtake me. I have a job to do. I don't have the time to cry, but even so a few stubborn tears strayed down my face.

"Nurse Haruno please come to the ICU. Nurse Haruno please come to the ICU. Thank you." She patted my shoulder. I let out a shaky sigh and turned walking down the Intensive Care Unit.

#$%&

The pink haired nurse stared down at her beautiful best friend. Her moonlight skin was cold and had acquired the tint of death. Her veins clearly visible. Her once perfectly manicured nails cracked and chipped. Her body bearing bruises of which would never heal. Bones cracked in places that would never be mended. Taut skin in which would never grow old or add wrinkles. Midnight hair of which would never be graced with grey or turn snowy. Onyx eyes of which would never open to a day without her bindings to her husband. Lips of which would never tell a story of adventure or give advice littered with wisdom. And a heart of which would never know true love.

Yes, her best friend was a beautiful person. Inside and out. She was. Kind and loving. Strong and beautiful. She didn't deserve to die at the hands of her husband. She deserved to grow old and die of natural causes without the pain he caused her.

The nurse sank into the chair. Tears rolled down her cheeks; her hazel eyes tired and sorrowful. Her body rocked with sobs and her voice grew hoarse from screaming.

Her employers had a heart. They allowed her to clock out and have the next day off. No more than that. The brooding brothers had to be corralled and who better than the pink haired nurse of whom they knew when they were younger?

Yes, it was tragic, but as I said before fame comes for a high price. It's time to pay up. And pay they will…

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**A/N: Ahh~ An ominous trail off. Gotta love it. Ight before you bombard me with flames about this: I DO NOT KNOW IF THOSE ARE THE CORRECT NAMES! I'm quite sure they're not. I pulled them outta my ass. I couldn't find Hinata's, Sakura's, & Tenten's mother's names. So correct me if I'm wrong, but please don't get pissy. And in case you didn't connect it. This chapter was in the point of view of Hana Sakura's mother. Did you like it? Yes? No? Tell me please. Other than that… BYE! **


	7. Conclusions & Confessions

_Pleasurable_

_Conclusions & Confessions…_

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**A/N: So none ya told me what you thought of my well thought out, but painstakingly short chapter from before. WHY?! Oh wells. I suppose chu shall enjoy this. A update is long deserved ne?**

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_Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own the yaoi filled potential that is Naruto, but if I did it'd be very scarring for young children and probably most adults. But I don't so children can watch it. They just can't read this._

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My eyes fluttered open the darkness reminding me distinctly of my room, but the uncomfortable crappy hospital bed and disgusting smell of over powering lemon scented disinfectant and cleaner staining what could've been the normalcy of the otherwise horrid room. Yeah, I hate hospitals. Too many visits with too many bad results. Hopefully with the bastard gone we can be a happy family.

I smiled feeling my brother draw closer to me. His long locks of midnight hair flowing off of this _cot_. I rolled my eyes at how uncomfortable the "bed" was in general. It's quite sad. Letting out an sigh I rested my head on his. His silken hair smelled of a certain spice I couldn't quite place. Cinnamon-y and warm slightly sugary smell, yeah, you'd think the scent of someone like Itachi would be hard, musky, woodsy, and masculine not like a bakery on crack. I chuckled lightly causing Itachi to stir. His obsidian eyes opened making contact with my rather dull black ones. A soft smile lighting up his face.

"What's so funny my dear Otouto?" He whispered to me. Knowing my brother the way I do, it's simply because he found solace in the quiet and hated to break it. Thank my ass of a father for that. I smiled down at him gently.

"Nothing Aniki it's silly." Resting his chin on my chest he smiled at me.

"All the better. Tell me?" I chuckled.

"You smell like a bakery on crack." He chuckled.

"On crack you say?" I nodded a huge grin on my face. He laced our left hand's fingers together. My right had sub-consciously began playing with a shorter piece of hair.

"Otouto?" He began slightly louder capturing my attention by the mere movement of his mesmerizing pale thick lips. I nodded not trusting my voice.

"Why'd you do it? Why'd you kill him?" I sighed.

"Because Itachi all he was doing was hurting us and other people. I can't let him do that. No way in hell. He tore their family apart! Ripped it right down the middle and had the guts to face them everyday and our mother. She knew. She _knew_ Itachi! She knew and she didn't divorce the bastard! She doesn't deserve to be treated the way he treated her. _We_ didn't deserve it. Okay, granted, maybe I did, but you didn't! All of the shit he did to you, Itachi, you did _nothing_! You did everything to impress him and none of it did. _None_ of it Itachi! He hated us. With a passion and it was only a matter of time before he killed one of us. Would you've rather that happened? I wouldn't. Itachi we're so much better off. You see why I did it right?" He sighed.

"Oh Sasuke! That's not what concerns me! It's the fact you could be put in an asylum or arrested and charged with his murder! I can't lose you Sasuke. I _love_ you." I shivered at the way he said that.

"I love you too, Itachi, but I don't think that will happen. It's too scandalous. No one wants to unearth what's behind all of this." He shook his head at me.

"For your sake Otouto, I certainly hope so, but I think only time will tell." I nodded. He turned his head resting it on my chest and I let my arms instinctively wrap around him. It was comforting for the both of us. Mine in the sense of I wasn't alone and his in the sense of he couldn't handle it.

"_Aniki is weak. He can't admit it, but he barely picks at his plate and slaves at Akatsuki. I hate that place. It's so raunchy and disgusting. It makes amazing money, but it's degrading. Worse it's run by a sadistic and overly perverted peace loving couple. Contradicting and imperfect, but that's how I describe them. They work him to the bone doing god knows what and him and father used to go out at night sometimes. Fishing. Psh. I doubt it, but I don't know what else they'd be doing…" _I began massaging his head and his breathing became deep and even as he slipped into what I assume to be sleep.

"_He never gets enough sleep either. So, yeah, he's weak. He needs to get better. I want him to get better. I need him to get better. I can't handle seeing him the way he was before. He was so lifeless and resigned to whatever fate was handed to him on a silver plated platter. He used to be so lively and social, but our father lost his job, they had a talk, and then those fishing trips popped up. They seemed fishy, but I still have no idea what was going on during those conveniently planned trips. I wish I did, but it's probably just another reason for the sick bastard to die. I can't believe him. He was just so sickening and repulsive. I never want to turn into that. Ever. I don't think I could handle myself if I did. I'd rather die than do what he did to anyone. The man was a home-wrecker and a manwhore. He didn't deserve the name bestowed upon him nor the title of Chief of Police in Konohagakure. In fact the only thing he deserved was a long and agonizing fall to rock bottom and well a very hard and uncomfortable landing. The man had gall and too much of it for that matter. He was just plan arrogant and stupid. Ungrateful for everything our mother did for him. It amazes me that we were all once a happy, smiling, and perfect family. Here. Now. It seems impossible. Mother's face used to light up when she spoke of those times before, but a few years ago it turned into a bitter-looking hate…"_ The cold hospital room was slowly starting to warm for the on-coming day. I could barely see the beginnings of light starting flow from the slates in the shades.

"_Soon this place will be bursting with light, sound, movement, and smells. I don't really want it too. Hospitals have a creepy serenity to them at night. It seems a bit less like a place of death and more like a limbo of uncertainty. A limbo where it could go either way, where you could live or die, be saved or wither away. There is no in between, no shade of gray, just black or white, live or die. I find it rather comforting. In a world where there is no black and white, just variations and hues of gray, it's nice to have something be so stable in a sick way. Because after all it can only go one way or the other, whereas out there in the big bad world it can go every which way all at once and yet still be in the same place. Confusing? That's because everything and nothing makes sense. But I can't erase the past, stop the present, or predict the future. All I can do is move on, keep going, and hope for the best…" _I settled into my pillow resigned to finally sleep my eyes drooping with exhaustion…


	8. Holding Back & Out

_Pleasurable_

_Holding Back & Out…_

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_Disclaimer: I unfortunately do not own the yaoi filled potential that is Naruto, but if I did it'd be very scarring for young children and probably most adults. But I don't so children can watch it. They just can't read this._

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His body was ridged and weak. Hana Haruno stood in front of Itachi tears in her hazel eyes the look mirroring his own. Her face was streaked with tears continuously as she explained what the hospital had said to her. Itachi on the other hand couldn't cry another tear. He simply didn't have any, but that didn't stop the stinging of his eyes and cheeks.

"_My mother is dead. Gone. Never to get up. Never to be with me or Sasuke… Oh kami… Sasuke… He risked his life to murder our father to attempt to save mother of whom died despite my otouto's efforts."_

"_My otouto… So admirable. Never wavering in the face of danger and taking every blow as it comes baring the burden without complaint. While he occasionally complained over not having his favorite fruit, tomatoes, or his rather annoying, but tried and true best friend. Who could blame him for whining a bit about that of which was rather petty? He never bothered with that of anything really bothering him. He seemed to brush it off as though it were nothing when in actuality it meant everything to him_." The eldest knew all of his otouto's tricks. After all they were his own just tailored to suit Sasuke.

From an early age the youngest Uchiha had always taken to following his older brother like a duck and practically existing to make him proud and acknowledge him though in all actuality the eldest Uchiha worshipped his otouto just as his otouto worshipped him. It was a mutual and unnoticed admiration on both parts. True the eldest was more fragile, but it's to be expected. Those 'fishing trips' weren't for fishing at all. Onyx eyes became hazy to the murky hazel orbs of Sakura's mother. She sighed knowing this could last for a while and settled into her chair deciding to stick it out considering they're her only project for a long time.

_At the age of sixteen Itachi was already much more mature than the majority of guys his age and generally that's how it always was. He didn't chuckle at farts or believe that girls had cooties. Oh no, that's so above an Uchiha of high stature. Especially the eldest. Being the eldest had its perks riding up front and getting bigger servings also more freedom, but it was also horrible because every mistake was scrutinized to the fullest and your biggest fears were shoved in your face. Something would always and could always be wrong with whatever it is you did. Nothing was ever good enough simply because he was Itachi. He got straight A's in the advanced classes and read on a professor's level, but nothing was good enough, not even when he learned to cook to help out his mother or went shopping or did anything. He got no appreciation from anyone for anything. His mother too afraid and his brother too abrasive and cold. His father never cared and never would, but the prospect of fishing with his father and possibly finding something his father was proud of him for or could be proud of him for gave him a false sense of hope that things possibly could go back to normal. He'd said yes and on the very next Friday they were heading out to a fresh water lake to fish._

_At first it had seemed genuine, but as things progressed and the music got sexual his father began advancing on his son not only sexually, but emotionally just tearing his self-esteem down and doing nothing but hurting his first born. Itachi was afraid of his father and nothing could help him other than his dying. That didn't happen until four years later and for those four years Itachi slaved at work and was ravished on the weekends by his disgusting pig of a father. He began to love the quiet because nothing Fugaku did sexually was quiet and nothing he could think of would be. It became like a different world an escape from torturous reality and daunting tasks he didn't wish to perform. His job was degrading true, but it paid well and the owners were his good friends thought you'd never believe it with the adopted silent and passive qualities. He seemed like the last person to be a waiter at this sort of club or restaurant; it was some creepy combination of the two. The staff employed was all men with only one woman considering the fact that this was for the primarily gay. After all he is gay. So why not indulge? He'd only been with four other men other than his father and he was always dominated. That's just the way it is with his effeminate features and soft, sweet nature. Though none of it ever did it for him and he knew exactly why…_

"Aniki?" The shaky slightly familiar voice broke him out of the engulfing haze.

"Otouto?" He replied warily unaware of the passage of time or even when his sweet little brother came into the sickingly sterile room. His pale, practically translucent, lids fluttered in protest from being open for far too long. His mind barely registered the click of a door and suddenly his otouto was in his lap and sobbing uncontrollably.

He wound his arms around the shaken boy feeling the tremors rocking into his own body. The mere contact lit a fire on his skin and arose the long pushed away feelings. He swallowed his mouth suddenly bone dry. He couldn't even get enough air. And suddenly desperate tears were cascading down his cheeks in shimmering falls. Be it from his mother's death, the release of his father, or just the pressure of holding back, he didn't really know. The only thing he could attest to was the fact that he wanted nothing more than his brother here with him. And now that they were in the together, just the two of them, he wasn't sure how long he could hold himself back…

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**A/N: I finally updated! Woo! Sorry guys… I know I've taken forever… Especially on this story. I don't really have an explanation other than I really wasn't inspired to write for it and so I didn't. I mean it's better not to write than to force yourself. I'm going to really try and get another chapter out!**


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